I will be away for the next 2 weeks; I will therefore not be writing new posts.   

I want to put out a post-Thanksgiving “what am I thankful for” – I’m grateful for my growing readership,  my growing subscribers  and my growing connections in the blogging world.  Thank you to all.  I’m loving this blogging journey.

Tomorrow my husband and I are flying to Prague for a few days and then on to Israel to visit my daughter and family, specifically 5 adorable grandkids who I only get to see once or twice a year.  I’m obviously excited about all this, but at the same time my heart is heavy with loss over the sudden “amputation” of a close and very special friendship. (One commenter used this term in her comment to the blog posting and it sounded so perfect for the situation.)  Just about every nite after saying good-nite to my grandkiddies, my friend and I would sit out on her porch and talk for hours, giggling, confiding, munching and relaxing together in the beauty of Jerusalem.  We’d make time to go to a favorite fish restaurant and eat the best St. Peter’s fish.  We’d take a day and travel either south to the Dead Sea or north to the Sea of Galilee.  Even within an only 7 – 10 day visit, there would always be time built in for us.   

And so I go with a bittersweet taste in my mouth, and soul.   That needs to be O.K. for now.  I allow myself to feel the hurt.  I am sure when I eat my St. Peter’s fish my eyes will sting with tears.  And that will be O.K.   I will walk through her neighborhood (near to where we stay) and long to knock on her door to say, “let’s talk or yell it out.”  But I won’t; I will feel sad and a bit angry and continue saying to myself, “this is just so bizarre.”

I will go and do, and feel even and especially what is beyond comprehension. …

I’m trying to soothe my soul.  It’s been deeply hurt.  I’ve also inflicted tremendous hurt to a friend  whose response in a Dear John email is that we are no longer friends and I am not to reach out to her again.   She has cut off our 40 year friendship like a branch snapped off from a tree.     

Actually we met some 45 years ago in school, were close friends for about  7 years; she then moved to the other side of the world and we were in touch periodically; and then about 7 years ago we reestablished ties and resumed a very close relationship.

I am one to look at my part, at my responsibility.  I make no excuses; I did her a terrible injustice.  She published a book about her mother growing up in Europe pre-World War II, whom I know well, presented me with one of the first copies, and I did not read it.  It’s been over a year since I have it and it still sits on my night-table unread.  I had told her I would read it in the summer as I had many books to read for my 5 book clubs I was leading at work last year.  But no, I still didn’t ‘get to it.’

After reaching out to her a few times recently via phone and email, as I am going to Israel next week to visit my daughter and family and wanted to make plans to spend time together, as we always do, I got no response.  I reached out again yesterday and finally got what I wished for- a response back with an explanation, but also with a shocking final statement that we’ve come to the end of our relationship.

No space left for apology, discussion, argument.  A cold turkey ending.  Whew, this hurts.  This will obviously sit with me for a long time, this sadness, this loss.  The loss of someone who knows me so well; the history, the future travel plans, the laughter, the appreciation and gift of a friendship reignited  – all gone so suddenly.    …

Time for some video inspiration.   

This week I’ve strayed from the typical blog posts and I ventured into two new (for me) types of postings:  the compilation of responses from a group of great bloggers, and now this video posting.  I pull from many sources and incorporate suggestions and ideas that resonate for me.  I owe Lori Deschene of Tiny Buddha my thanks and appreciation for suggesting this idea of putting out a question to many bloggers and then creating a post with all their responses.  It certainly sent a lot of traffic to my site, which was her intent for me. 

Today’s blog idea I owe to Jimmy of Life Architects.  I’m ‘copying’ one of his blog posts where he featured a couple of uplifting videos.   “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” (Charles Caleb Colton) 

There is so much inspirational material at our fingertips via social media – quotes, photos, utubes – that after awhile a lot of it blurs together.  But you know you’ve found a winner and a keeper when it plants itself in your gut and finds a home in your feeling and thinking states.  You talk about it, think about it and ‘re- feel’ the emotions it originally stirred up in you.   Such is the case with these two videos that I  share with you now.

In this first one, I’m enthralled with the way this photographer has used his artistry to create beautiful positive images in the hope of changing the perspective of the world-at-large towards a different-abled population.   It’s education in the truest sense in that it opens us all up to see the beauty in an often over-looked (and at the risk of sounding harsh but truthful, an often shunned)  group of people.      

This second one revves me up.  It’s totally exhilarating with the message of, get out there and live it up while you still can.  These guys push beyond their hardships and challenges. …

Here’s to some fresh perspectives on coping.  I decided to reach out to some of my favorite bloggers and pose a question that’s in line with the theme of my blog – rising above adversity. 

As the saying goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  What helps you get going when you encounter obstacles in life?

I’ve compiled responses from 14 bloggers: 

Alex Blackwell    The Bridgemaker

My faith.  My faith helps me overcome the obstacles I encounter.  When things don’t go as planned, I step back and remember that I’ve been successful in difficult situations before.  This knowledge fuels my faith and helps me to keep moving forward.

 Annabel Candy    Get In The Hot Spot

When I encounter obstacles I tap into my inner stubbornness.

I really believe anyone can do anything if they put their mind too it but having a positive mindset is crucial.

For me staying happy, and healthy are keys to achieving success in anything so I exercise most days. It doesn’t need to be a full on sweat session. A brisk walk will set me up for the day and make sure I’m in the mood to handle anything.

The other thing that helps is knowing that nothing lasts forever. Those tough times you’re having now will be over soon enough. If you can only just keep going one more day you’ll come out the other side stronger and wiser.

I’ve also learned that progress is never linear. Life always throws new obstacles in front of you but that’s part of the journey. Keep going no matter what and you’ll get over them. Sunnier days are always just round the corner.

Courtney Carver    Be More With Less

When I encounter obstacles in life, the first thing I try to do is put the obstacle into perspective. Is it really as bad as I think it is at this moment?  After receiving an MS diagnosis in 2006, I realize that when our emotions take over, things can seem much worse than they actually are.  …

I am happy to share with you all my guest post featured today on Alex Blackwell’s wonderful blog, The Bridgemaker.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Maria Robinson

I learned about the power of living Now while I sat at my daughter’s bedside listening to the beeps, bleeps and other scary sounds emanating from the numerous machines she was hooked up to in an attempt to keep her alive.

I witnessed life’s fragility from the most horrific and terrifying perspective – that of a mother possibly losing her child.  I watched and listened to her life hang by a thread as she was in an induced and paralyzed coma for three months.

Miraculously, Nava survived, and miraculously again made a complete recovery.

 Click here to continue reading this post.…

In looking at my last interview to pull out a theme to hone in on, I realize there are a few common themes running throughout many of my interviews with these inspirational people.  They have truly been able to rise above their adversities and create good lives despite…whatever circumstances have befallen them, by developing and exercising a positive attitude, choosing not to live their life as a victim and living with purpose. 

Attitude

Choice

Purpose

These are concepts and ways of thinking that we can actively work on within ourselves. 

We can work on our attitude.  As Ms. Garrison says, “your attitude is the only control you have left in your life….”

We can begin to see we have choices in how we respond.  We don’t have to be locked into one way of reacting.   We can choose what we focus on – do we hone in on the negatives or do we bring more of the positives to the forefront of our attention.  It’s in our control to make conscious choices.    

Living with a sense of purpose can help us carry on through our difficulties.  So the mother who’s grief-stricken over the (early) death of her husband has a purpose of raising her son.  The woman who’s been raped has taken on a cause of changing the system so other victims don’t wait years and years before rape kits are examined.    

 On a smaller scale of purpose, here’s an example that I focused in on last week.  It was a pretty icky and nasty day last Saturday here in New York, weather-wise.  We had an early, out of the season, snow fall.  My daughter, Nava, who just had her gallbladder surgery 4 days prior, was up for going to synagogue.  And so we walked, not too far, about 6 blocks, to Sabbath services.  While we’re stepping in puddles and getting pretty wet despite our raingear, I’m almost at the point of complaining how we’re one of the few nuts out walking in this,  when I thought of our specific purpose in going out.  …