I want to put out a post-Thanksgiving “what am I thankful for” – I’m grateful for my growing readership, my growing subscribers and my growing connections in the blogging world. Thank you to all. I’m loving this blogging journey.
Tomorrow my husband and I are flying to Prague for a few days and then on to Israel to visit my daughter and family, specifically 5 adorable grandkids who I only get to see once or twice a year. I’m obviously excited about all this, but at the same time my heart is heavy with loss over the sudden “amputation” of a close and very special friendship. (One commenter used this term in her comment to the blog posting and it sounded so perfect for the situation.) Just about every nite after saying good-nite to my grandkiddies, my friend and I would sit out on her porch and talk for hours, giggling, confiding, munching and relaxing together in the beauty of Jerusalem. We’d make time to go to a favorite fish restaurant and eat the best St. Peter’s fish. We’d take a day and travel either south to the Dead Sea or north to the Sea of Galilee. Even within an only 7 – 10 day visit, there would always be time built in for us.
And so I go with a bittersweet taste in my mouth, and soul. That needs to be O.K. for now. I allow myself to feel the hurt. I am sure when I eat my St. Peter’s fish my eyes will sting with tears. And that will be O.K. I will walk through her neighborhood (near to where we stay) and long to knock on her door to say, “let’s talk or yell it out.” But I won’t; I will feel sad and a bit angry and continue saying to myself, “this is just so bizarre.”
I will go and do, and feel even and especially what is beyond comprehension. …