Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
Therapist . Speaker . Author
“I haven’t had a full-blown panic attack in a couple of years. Granted, my body is not always an ocean of tranquility. I still feel lonliness, fear, and what I call the black-and-blues – the sadness I finally allow myself to feel, the sadness that panic covered up for so many years.”
As many of you may know from my {June} interview with Meredith Vieria, I met her at an event in New York City where she interviewed her childhood friend, Priscilla Warner, on her recent book, Learning to Breathe. That night was a win-win for me as I met two wonderfully warm and engaging women, and they each agreed to do a blog interview.
So this month, it’s Ms. Warner’s turn. She is a noted writer, having coauthored a New York Times bestseller, The Faith Club, and now her new memoir. She takes us on a fascinating journey as she seeks to find ways to heal from her years of suffering from high anxiety and panic attacks.
Most, if not all of us can relate to anxiety but her condition was oftentimes very debilitating. Ms. Warner shows us it’s never too late to learn, grow and change or as she says, “An old tiger can learn new tricks.”
I am so pleased to present Priscilla Warner.
My mother, a prolific artist, used to tell me, “People will disappoint you, but your work never will.” The love I feel for my family and friends is the most powerful positive factor in my life. But often what sustains me most during tough times, propelling me forward, is my ability to create something from nothing, whether I’m writing or making art and jewelry.
I didn’t go through a period of self-pity, but I did feel shame when I suffered from panic attacks. I felt like I had a defective nervous system, that erupted at will, prohibiting me from functioning like a ‘normal’ person. What lifted me out of that shame was writing Learning to Breathe, because it sent me on a mission to heal that proved to be astonishingly effective.
There was not one specific ‘eureka’ moment that turned me from an anxious person into a happy woman. I take life moment by moment now. My meditation practice helps me to note the happy, sad, anxious, boring, challenging instructive moments I experience and be grateful as they string themselves together into one long life. The Thomas Wolfe quote I used for my high school yearbook is still surprisingly relevant! “Knowledge is finding out something for oneself with pain, with joy, with exultancy, with labor, and with all the little ticking, breathing moments of our lives.”
Meditation is a daily practice that helps me sustain a feeling of being grounded, at peace and in touch with my essence. I love knowing that all I need to do is observe my breath coming and going in order to feel empowered, healthy and happy. I also start my day with a short prayer of gratitude, which gets me off to the perfect start, wherever else the day might take me.
The thought that propels me forward is, “This too shall pass.” (So try and enjoy this somehow!)
I’ve discovered that people can heal in ways they never thought possible. There are many resources out there to help make that possible. We can all turn pain into understanding and growth. We can choose the path we take through our suffering. That path will twist and turn in ways we can never expect. But if we put one foot in front of the other, and approach life one step at a time, we can move from a painful place to a productive one. We can accept sadness and feel grace. We can find teachers, therapists, techniques, experiences and resources that don’t have to cost a fortune, but that can make a huge difference in our lives.
Hear Ms. Warner speak :
http://www.youtube.com/user/PriscillaWarnerBooks?feature=mhee#p/u
Her articles in Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/learning-breathe/201204/how-i-learned-not-take-my-panic-attacks-personally
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/learning-breathe/201201/is-it-selfish-seek-happiness
