Living After Trauma

 

What do you do after you’ve been through a sudden or prolonged loss, a rough divorce, a critical illness, or any life-altering event?

Do you succumb to the awfulness of the situation and remain beaten down? Do you attempt to go back to where you were before?  Or do you look to see what you can do differently with what you’ve been through?  This last question is where I’m headed.

After going through a near-catastrophic illness with my middle daughter, I went back to life as before –  back to my job and my overall life feeling like I was simply picking up where I left off from theyear before.  That left me feeling totally unsettled, frustrated and in angst.  It just didn’t feel right doing nothing different after going through a year of everything being terrifyingly different.  From living in hospitals, vigilantly watching and listening to every beep, bleep and breath of breathing machines, to witnessing daily miracles as Nava re-learned to use each and every part of her body once again.

Once we were miraculously back into the light of ‘normal’ daily living, and I could allow myself the luxury of feeling and pondering the more existential issues as opposed to the details of survival and recovery, things started shifting for me internally.  No book, foundation, appearance on Oprah or any other kind of major development had emerged but an attitude of purposeful living was taking shape.  Going into the city for that weekly writing course was a ‘do it now’ instead of the usual, “I’ll take it later when I have the time.”  The time for doing was the present.  And if I wanted something enough, excuses to Not Do went by the wayside.  A strong attitude of To Do was emerging.  I had seen first-hand the thinnest of  threads  by which our lives are held so delicately.   I was blessed with not only my daughter getting a second lease on life but my experiencing that feeling of a personal deeply renewed sense of life, appreciation and awe.

So putting this in the framework of trauma, I see myself as having struggled in this post-trauma phase.  I was looking for something more, something new, to bring into my life.  I was not satisfied with maintaining the status quo after going through Nava’s crisis and miracle.

At the time I hadn’t heard of the concept known as post traumatic growth (PTG).  All I knew of was the common post traumatic stress (PTS).   Having studied this PTG in my positive psychology program,  I see that I’ve experienced change in most of the areas that officially make up PTG.  I can now ‘officially’ say I have grown a lot as a result of my daughter’s medical crisis and miracle.   Nothing is externally so different in my life but I feel I live much better than before.   My biggest areas of growth are in the New Possibilities and Appreciating Life categories, where I look to develop new interests, seek out new opportunities, have a much deeper appreciation for each day and for life in general  – conscious gratitude.    I want to stop here and turn to you.

How do you view yourself after coming through a difficult situation?  Can you look to take what you’ve been through and make something good out of it?  Do you see any positive shifts in yourself?  Are you standing back up to take life on in a new way, or an old way with new fervor?   Is there a silver lining you can hone in on and use?

If you’re not at this point of growth yet, you may need more time working through your specific challenge, grieving or simply letting the dust settle before starting to take any steps forward.  Please be patient and kind with yourself for you will eventually start to notice the sunlight again.  And the rays will ignite something in you to Begin Again.  It is then up to you.

You may be interested in taking this post-traumatic growth inventory here and seeing the areas where your changes and growth {may} have occurred.

 

Thanks for stopping by.  You can get back up and live well.  Call on me if you need support or a push in ‘your’ right direction.