Pushing Through Our Fears

“80% of success is showing up.”  Woody Allen

This is how I begin my workshop for parents on Developing Your Speaking Voice.  It’s a scary thing to sign on for something where you know you’re going to have to get up and speak in front of a group.  We know that public speaking is one of the biggest fear factors, technically known as glossophobia.

So showing up to something that provokes high anxiety is a huge step.  And it is courageous.  As we know, courage is not about having no fear but rather having the fear and doing it anyway.  Acknowledging the fear, feeling the fear, dancing with the fear and eventually pushing the fear aside and stepping up to the plate.

Every time I say Yes to a new opportunity which makes me anxious and doubtful of my abilities, I’m pushing my fear to the sideline.

It’s only when we start to do this that we begin to tap into our unrealized potential and start taking risks of new challenges and thereby growth.   And how exciting, and sometimes terrifying that can be, to step into unknown turf.  It’s exactly here that we open ourselves up to new possibilities. We’re developing ourselves further and life gets exciting.  Things evolve serendipitously.

Back to the Speaking Voice workshop for parents – I was asked to do this 4 part series based on my parenting workshops.  I had never presented on this topic before.  And I’m still pinching myself that I am facilitating this topic; I, who would never speak up in class or in large groups. I’ve basically had to create the content for this workshop.  I am now on the second round of the series open to a new group of parents.

Had I said No, my initial gut reaction, I would have prevented myself from expanding, being creative and being challenged.  For me this was and is a big step.  And I’m proud of myself and feel great about it.

Now if it didn’t turn out so good, that’s where the big downside would be. Oftentimes we stop ourselves from taking something on because we’re afraid of failing, of not doing a good job.  And of course not doing well at something feels lousy; and heaven forbid we should personalize it, then we feel bad about ourselves and maybe even generalize it into, “I’m a failure.”

We cut ourselves way short by giving in to the fear of failure.

Does failing at something mean we’re a failure?  We are a lot more than the something we don’t do well at, the something we may fail at.

We have to be willing to accept and deal with the possibility of failure, of not doing a successful job.  Yes, we’ll feel badly and be disappointed (and that’s O.K., and perfectly normal) and there will be more chances to do well perhaps in other areas.  Only when we can fail successfully can we take chances and be open to new opportunities and experiences.

And when we do well at our new task-at-hand, how wonderful that feels!  And how enriched do we feel!

Let’s give ourselves more chances by pushing through our fears.  We may end up taking a tumble, in which case we can get back up just like the baby learning to walk, or we may end up standing tall the first time around.

 

What are you afraid of?  What fear are you pushing through?  What happens if you fail?