Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
Therapist . Speaker . Author
I am happy to share with you all my guest post featured today on Alex Blackwell’s wonderful blog, The Bridgemaker.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson
I learned about the power of living Now while I sat at my daughter’s bedside listening to the beeps, bleeps and other scary sounds emanating from the numerous machines she was hooked up to in an attempt to keep her alive.
I witnessed life’s fragility from the most horrific and terrifying perspective – that of a mother possibly losing her child. I watched and listened to her life hang by a thread as she was in an induced and paralyzed coma for three months.
Miraculously, Nava survived, and miraculously again made a complete recovery.
Click here to continue reading this post.
Hi Harriet,
Had been to Alex’s site, but it seems to be experiencing some problems. It has been down for quite some time. Looking forward to catching up on this post later.
Mark
Hi Mark,
Sorry you can’t access Alex’s site. Here’s the link to the post so you can continue reading it: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/the-time-is-now/
Thanks for popping by.
Hi Harriet,
You shared from the heart. That is what mattered most. That is what has touched me yet again. Hope you are doing well and experiencing life’s blessing moment by moment. We all need encouragement to embrace this form of living. When you have a brush with death, life really picks up pace. No more later, no more next time, no more when I have… Whatever you want to try and do, if you will it the way magically appears.
Hi Jimmy,
Thank you for your lovely comment. I love your line, “when you have a brush with death, life picks up pace.” It absolutely has for me. Life picked up in all ways.
Hi Harriet,
Thanks for sharing the bridgemaker link. What a lot of wisdom and answers to some of life’s most compelling question are there. I found as I read through it that I was feeling overwhelmed. It’s all laid out so simply, yet I couldn’t help but feel I’ve only scratched the surface of these questions. I think I might be afraId of some of the answers. When I read of your emotional experience with your daughter Nava’s surgery, what I read between the lines was you were taking care of yourself so you could better take care of her needs. That is so hard for me.
As an insulin-dependent diabetic (a brittle one at that)., I have to keep tight surveilance on my sugars. They have been too high since my accident and my doctor upped my dose of long-acting insulin in the mornings. Turns out, this is too much and I had to make the decision to cut it back because I have been having hypoglycemic events in the afternoon. It doesn’t help that I often skip a meal, usually lunch, but it could be breakfast or dinner too. I typically eat most of my food midday. In short, I haven’t been taking care of myself. I had the day off yesterday for Veteran’s Day, and I was active doing regular chores around the house, running up and down the stairs to the basement and back doing the laundry. I had eaten breakfast but didn’t realize I had to eat lunch until my sugar was so low I could hardly stand. I then ate the lunch I needed but it was almost suppertime before I did. Because my sugar was so low I ate a little dinner too. Even after the dinner sugars were staying low. I felt weak and every bone in my body was screaming. The hip pain became almost unbearable. Finally, after eating numerous pieces of sugary candy, I hobbled up the stairs to take a hot bubble bath for relief frorm the hip pain.
What this tells me is I’m not taking care of myself even though I try so hard to make the inside right so I have something to offer the outside. Makes me wonder what is so hard about this? Is it just because I’m lazy and don’t want to babysit my diabetes? Why don’t I check my sugars more often? Why don’t I eat when I should? Some of the reasons I can get in touch with are relatively simple. I rationalize I’m just too busy to remember to test my blood sugar every 3 hours. Even though I’m skinny I still worry about taking in too many calories…phobia about fat that needs further scrutiny. Skipping meals is not okay! By the time I took the hot bubble bath last night which should have been a relaxing treat to myself, it was a last ditch effort to relieve pain. I was so weak while I was bathing I couldn’t even enjoy it.
Clearly, this is something I have to work hard on…taking care of myself. Being nice to myself will be secondary. The good news is I’m not giving up. I still know I’m worthy. I still matter. I still want to enjoy my life and keep learning. I see that unless I take care of myself first everything else will amount to a weak effort with little payoff. I’m still feeling physically rotten today as a result of not taking care of myself yesterday. Plus, I think I’ve mentioned before that careening sugars tend to affect my emotions and moods. Like I need to have mood fluxes while working on self improvement and attitude…NOT!
So here I find myself seeking enlighenment today after going through a day like yesterday. By the time I went to sleep I was totally weakened and wondering how I could be so out of touch. I have to ask myself, if it’s worth it to not pay attention to my known needs one day, to find myself in physical pain the next day because of the crash the day before? Also, this behavior doesn’t only affect me. I live with my 26-year-old son (I have a 43 year old son too) and his wife. They worry when they see me crash and experience that much bodily pain. I was so weak after the attempt at dinner my son had to help me get up from the table so I could hobble upstairs and take a hot bath. I affect their lives too. So, today I will make sure to take my blood sugars and eat three meals. There’s something I hate about the discipline devoted to that rountine, but I simply cannot live skiiping meals like I used to do before diabetes, which was diagnosed in 1980. One would think after 31 years of being insulin-dependent I would have learned this by now.
Yesterday was only one of many hypoglycemic events in the recent past. It’s seems I need to strive for tighter control with monitoring, exercise, and diet because the other side of the coin in super high surgars which was the reason my doctor upped my long-acting to much more than I was previoulsly taking.I’m never safely in the middle where I should be. I have to accept that this is my responsibility. Other than that, life is good. I just have to be good to myself.
Blessings & Hugs,
Sal
Hi Sal,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
My hope for you is, that you begin with small steps each and every day, to take care of You.
I like your line – ” make the inside right so I have something to offer the outside.” It reminds me of the airplane rule, put your own oxygen mask on first and then put on your child’s. The child needs the grown-up to be there and healthy. You need to be healthy and strong to be able to put your best foot forward to others.
The first step is awareness and you’ve got that. Now onward toward the action part with small daily steps.
All the best.