Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
Therapist . Speaker . Author
“I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever… They are all placed inside what I call my tree test.
It goes like this:
LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade.
Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.
BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them.
They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough.
Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again, you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are.
ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special.
Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy.
They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.
Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have?
What are you in other people’s lives?
Thank God for your roots!”
I saw this posted on facebook today and felt a need to share it here. I think it’s great food-for-thought, both for those in our lives and for how we are for others. This points to that wise old saying, it’s not about quantity but rather quality. There are many leaves but few roots. The real substance is in the solidness of the few.
Who is in your life and who are you to others?
Photo by Storm Thorgerson for Pink Floyd – Tree of Half Life
As a certified tree hugger (received one from my niece on my birthday) and self-confessed metaphor addict, I love your piece, Tyler Perry. I will share it on my trees group on beBee. Just a quick question, you mentioned leaves, branches and roots, any reason why you left out the trunk?
Most of the people in my life are definitely “Roots”and I am “Root” in their lives as well.As per “Branches” and “Leaves” I truly believe that even if they don’t stay for too long ,they certainly will teach you a lesson and make a positive change in our lives.
Hi Sara,
Great question! I wish I could answer you but as you see I didn’t write this piece. The trunk is the most solid part of the tree, although it can still be thrown down by storms {of life}. We all need to have that solid and strong base from which to grow ourselves. What do you think the trunk represents?
Hi Patricia,
I love your idea that people who float into our lives, however temporary as the leaves, are there to teach us something. Glad you are fortunate to have Roots in your life and that you are the Roots to others. Thanks for sharing.