I love Paul Williams’ line, “When I got honest and egoless, I found the help I needed.”  This can be tough for a lot of us.  Getting real with oneself is no easy feat.  We all live with a curtain of denial around us.  It serves as a protector so we can function through most things in our lives.  But when our life and functioning ability is being diminished, it’s high time we open that curtain and expose our difficulty to the light. For it is when we shed light upon it that we can begin the work of chipping away at it.

We have to put aside bravado and bring forth vulnerability.  We have to acknowledge to ourselves that we are {all} flawed and that there’s no shame in that.

We have to “give ourselves permission to be human” with all that that entails.  Feeling those icky feelings – of shame, fear, powerlessness- they’re all part of being human.  If we look them in the face, meet them head-on, and dance with them awhile, they will go through us and start to lose some of their grip.  We will then be more open to facing our issues.

It’s said that courage is not the lack of fear; it’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Sometimes we’re afraid of what we might find when we open up our pandoras box.  We may not like the outcome of examining the problem.  I once spoke to a friend trying to encourage him to get professional help. …

I am so pleased to present the talented Paul Williams, singer,song-writer, composer and actor.  You know those oldies but ‘greaties’, We’ve Only Just Begun, Rainy Days and Mondays, Evergreen, Just An Old Fashioned Love Song.  

“You know you’re an alcoholic when you misplace a decade and I did.”

Mr. Williams overcame his addiction to alcohol and drugs and is now a passionate advocate in the recovery movement.  He’s a testament to the strength,power and ability of the human being to face the demon head on, work through it and grow beyond it towards a renewed life of meaning and joy.

What personal qualities helped you carry on and move forward in a positive direction?

I went to nine schools by the time I was in the 9^th grade.  A construction brat, we moved often.  I was always the new kid in school and the littlest.  My sense of humor became a defensive tool that served me then and I think served me well during my adult years.  And what would probably be described as ‘magical thinking’ may have been a big plus.  I didn’t know I couldn’t do so many of the things I’ve been successful at doing.  That’s an odd sentence I know… but that kind of belief that I had something special to give, worked in supporting my belief system from the very beginning.  My career as an actor failed so I started writing songs.  Didn’t know I couldn’t so I did. …

I stood there as he was led away, tears welling up in my eyes and slowly dropping down my cheeks.  He actually turned his head and looked back like a child looking for that last wave good-bye.

Our nineteen months of raising Yael, our foster puppy, had come to an end.  We returned him to CCI, Canine Companions for Independence, to begin his testing to see if he’d qualify for being a service/companion dog for a person with disabilities.

Our job was complete, the end result being unknown.  It would be about six months until we’d find out if he ‘passed’.

What began as looking into a companion dog for my daughter with disabilities ended up with serving the cause – raising the dog for another.

This greater cause grounded me and kept me focused on the task at hand: to do the best possible job at raising a gentle, well-mannered and well-trained dog capable of carrying out his mission in life.  My  husband and I worked at following his instruction manual pretty much to a tee.   It was hard, meaningful and joyful – an overall rich experience.

We naturally fell in love with his adorable nature and looks; his sleek yellow body that always looked for  cuddles, hugs and playful belly-rubbing.  The common question (and statement) we encountered was, “how are you going to give him back?  I could never do it.”  Although I didn’t know it at the time, this was to be a lesson in letting go; connecting and letting go. …

We all have such hectic days trying to squeeze everything in, and then some.  The common mantra is, “I don’t have enough time” or “I certainly don’t have any time for me.”

But we’re doing a tremendous disservice to ourselves by simply getting up in the morning and jumping on that turning wheel trying to chase around and play catch up the whole day, only to then go to sleep and start all over again.

We may not have a whole hour or block of time to devote to doing something pleasurable for ourselves.  But we can surely find a few minutes here and there to incorporate some joyful moments.  We can’t wait for those long time periods of free time.  For our own well-being and feelings of positivity, those brief interludes go a long way to replenish ourselves and add that bit of necessary enjoyment to fill our daily buckets.

So…

• Wake up a little earlier than you have to and do something you enjoy- be it exercise, wrapping your hands around that mug of hot coffee and enjoying the silence, reading, meditating, listening to music.
• Pencil in a few minute break for youself during the day.  Pretend it’s a meeting or appointment.  Respect it and keep it as you would with anyone else.
• Be mindful of the nice things around you.  When we notice the good and the beauty around us and bring it into ourselves, it feels good.
• Fix up a small area in your house with meaningful things. 

…

I’m excited to share with you my  guest post  over at Gratitude and Trust, a new blog by the wonderful Tracey Jackson and Paul Williams.  Ms. Jackson is a writer and screenwriter and Mr. Williams is a singer and songwriter.    Some of you ‘older’ folks may remember him from back in the ‘70’s.  He’s written many hit movie songs.   Currently he is very passionately involved in recovery work.

Click here below to read my post and enjoy a new site with uplifting quotes, stories and posts.

http://www.gratitudeandtrust.com/keep-your-eye-on-the-donut-and-not-upon-the-hole/

I will be away next week at Kripalu in the Berkshires for a 5 day ‘immersion’ as an exciting beginning to the 11 month positive psychology certificate course I’m enrolled in.  Therefore, no blog posts for the week.    Check out the course information here.  You might want to look into it for the next session in 2014.  It’s a transformative life course, both personally and professionally.

Have a great week and keep your eye on the donut.  There’s a lot of good stuff there.…

How do we experience gratitude?  Do we feel it?  Do we express it beyond a generic ‘thank you’.  Do we truly experience it and savor such times/events/people?

Gratitude can bring much richness to our lives.  It is an antidote to depression, negativity, the half-empty glass mind-set.  When we bring to mind what we’re grateful for, we experience positive feelings.  Writing them down can sink them into our being even more and elicits those good emotions.

All too often we take note of the negatives and openly express our criticisms; and the positives fall upon those taken-for-granted silences.  It seems like we have to work harder at focusing on what we’re grateful for and work our minds in that direction.   And so some exercises have been developed from the field of positive psychology to enhance and strengthen our appreciation muscle.  One such exercise is a  letter of gratitude, where we write the specifics of our appreciation to someone who has impacted our life in a positive way.  It’s a two-way win of highly charged positive endorphins here.  The writer re-experiences those warm and good feelings as she puts the thoughts and feelings on paper; and the recipient feels great significance knowing how she effected and impacted another person.

It is best to share the letter with the person, preferably in person or at least by mail or on the phone.

Perhaps you will write your letter of gratitude to someone.  Here is mine:

Dear B,

This is long overdue.  But as long as we’re still on this earth together it’s not too late for you to know how thankful I continue to feel for all that you did for Nava and us during our year of her medical crisis. …