Let’s say things are going along fairly well, status quo for you right now. Meaning there are no major bumps in the road, no out-of-the-blue surprise attack of a lost job, awful diagnosis, partner leaving, or any other major event that would completely throw you off balance and into a major melt-down. Then now’s the time to put some good stuff into your life and input some important ingredients to build your emotional and mental reservoir. Shifts in focus, little tweaks of priorities, change and actions to raise the bar of You.
We know that even when life is moving along on an even keel, there is still lots of daily stress and little time for anything beyond our must-do’s.
The time to work on building our core muscles of strength and resilience are when things are basically in check. Because when all hell breaks loose, and we’re thrown completely off balance on that rocky and unpaved road, that’s when we need to utilize and tap into what we’ve got to keep us afloat and pull us through the dark and painful muck.
So let’s start with three ways to pump up our core psychological, mental and emotional muscles:
You will then have them as loving support when your bad times come around.
I personally like the ‘at least’ concept. When I’m aggravated over needing another root canal or tooth extraction (yes, I have lousy teeth), I calm myself down by saying, “at least it’s something fixable and not a disease.” And thus I deal with it much better and actually appreciate my overall health. When my car was hit at a parking spot and needed a lot of body work, I went to “at least nobody was in the car”; and so there was much less drama and prolonged agitation around the inconvenience of it all. (insurance, rental car…)
When my daughter, Nava, was critically ill and hospitalized for a year, one of the things I journaled and focused on was the fact that “at least she was in a wonderful hospital with amazing doctors and nurses.” Was I seemingly pulling at straws when all else looked so terribly bleak – perhaps. But it was one thing I truly believe helped me cope and continue putting one foot in front of the other each day.
This is a way of reframing and looking for the silver lining. The exercise WWW – what’s working well, or what went well – is another way of putting our attention on the good aspects and growing that gratitude muscle.
You will then have it as a tool to use when the going gets rough and you need some perspective to be able to see the good that there is to be found even in the pain and suffering.
Here is one of my favorite metaphors and visuals: the donut. Are you focusing on the hole of the donut and all that’s missing, that you don’t have, or on the chocolate icing and sprinkles? The hole in your heart may be so big…. And there is still some thin layer of icing. Sometimes it takes time to get to the icing but it’s there waiting to be seen and tasted.
Whether you want to call it meditating or just sitting in silence a few minutes a day, it behooves us to reconnect with ourselves so we can bring our best self forth in the management of our lives; to enable us to live well into the meaning and purpose we discover and live for.
I’d love to hear what you think after reading this. What pops up for you? Please share in the Comments section below.