“It appears that the way people perceive the world is much more important to happiness than objective circumstances.” Ed Diener
We can work our minds towards a better state.
How? Here are three questions to get you started on your journey towards developing a more positive mindset. For well being is more contingent on our state of mind than on our status and external circumstances.
What do I focus on? Where does my attention go? What we focus on expands and more of it comes into our field of vision.
Switch the brain channel and hone in on the rose instead of the thorn. Don’t ignore the thorns –that is part of the reality of the rose, and try not to get pricked; but revel and savor the beauty of the rose itself. After taking in that rose, you may begin to notice more beautiful flowers around.
Am I a benefit-finder or a fault-finder? We have a predisposition to the negative. Just watch the news where it’s one bad thing after another. What an imbalance! There’s certainly good happenings going on all around and way more than the ‘bad’. But because the lousy stuff is focused on, it’s easy to see why some would ingest all that and live through a lens of drama and negativity.
Or to note a simplistic example, Yes, your 6 year old spilled the milk, again. And yes, he cleaned it up all by himself without being told. How responsible he acted! Are you focusing on the fact that he spilled his milk, again, and may be seen as a klutz or mess, or are you able to get past that and focus on the fact that he dealt with it on his own. Fault or benefit-finder?? “The fault finder will find faults even in paradise.” Henry Thoreau
What do I do with what has happened? As my teacher, Tal Ben-Shahar likes to say, “Things don’t necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best of things that happen.” In other words, when bad things happen, the question to ask is, what do I do with it? That is a choice we can each make. It is up to us. We can pull the silver lining out from the clouds and turn challenges into growth opportunities. (post traumatic growth)
Choice is the name of the game. At every moment we have a choice in how we respond, in what we focus on, in what we do….. We have so much influence and effect over our own lives. Let’s recognize that and be the creators we are meant to be. We will live richer and more actualized lives.
Thanks for stopping by.
