“Recovery (and I’m not a huge fan of the word because I don’t think one ever truly recovers from mental illness but rather learns to manage it) is not about the light at the end of the tunnel, but realizing that there is light – even if it’s just a tiny bit seeping into the tunnel – and you’ve got to grasp it.”
I love this quote by Andy Behrman. There’s so much right here in this one sentence.
Most struggles and problems in life are not ‘recoverable’. We don’t recover from, we integrate into our lives and {attempt to} manage them.
Are there any human conditions, struggles, problems that are ‘fixable’?
Addicts are ‘in recovery’ forever. They are not recovered. It is an ongoing condition that must be maintained and managed on a daily basis – one day at a time, as the mantra states.
My daughter, Nava, manages her permanent ostomy. She has her life and her health back with it, but it’s a life life-long daily maintenance regimen. (And by-the-way, she’s a natural at incorporating it into her life in a most matter-of-fact way and positive way.)
We manage the pain and sadness that loss brings. Does one ever ‘recover’ from the loss of a child? Does one recover from the sudden death of a young spouse? …from the death of a parent during their young years? … from the fall-out of a bad divorce?
With time we learn to integrate loss and steer it towards new territories. We try to build new frontiers using pain and hurt as our compass.
We eventually come to see that there is a tiny bit of light seeping in and we try to grasp it. It’s not about waiting till the end of the tunnel, for we need little hints of hope and light to hang onto along the way; it’s about stepping tentatively through the darkness and adjusting one’s eyes to the bits of light that gets into the cracks and crevices of our soul.
We’re managing. We’re grasping. We’re hanging on and watching those clouds part. They always do. There is light.
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