Staying With Our Difficult Feelings

We run from pain. It’s the natural way. Fight or flight – we detect danger, we run.

But what about emotional pain? We also seem to run from that. After all, who the heck wants to feel anger, sadness, grief and all those other icky feelings. We do whatever it takes to avoid, numb or squelch them. We know all the ways to do that. That’s easy. But like that tube of toothpaste it eventually starts to ooze out and make a mess.

What if we just sat with these difficult feelings? What if we allowed them in? What if instead of pushing them away, we, dare I say, welcomed them? What would happen? Would they destroy us? At times we certainly feel like they would.

Emotions are like waves; they come and go and the intensity fluctuates as well. They come crashing in and then more calmly retreat. We must hold on; we need to believe that we can. It’s called trust – trusting in ourselves and in the process that in going through it, we will come through it. They can wash through us, give us a soaking and then we can dry off.

I invite you to start taking note of these feelings of fear,sadness, anger, frustration as they bubble up and surface in the ordinary moments of daily life (not the awful life situations). When we become mindful of them, we begin to have more control over them as opposed to them taking control over us. We can then start to handle them better and see more clearly what they’re all about.

GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.