Buying Happiness With Experience or Things
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Buying Happiness With Experience or Things

We derive more happiness from buying experiences than from buying things.  There’s research out by Cornell researchers, Carter and Gilovich to highlight this.  So if we’re interested in learning how to increase our well-being and live life well, here’s a pretty big idea to incorporate into our lives.

Experiences vs. things:  The rationale goes that with new things we quickly adapt.  We get an initial high and then we go back to our baseline of well-being.  With experiences we re-experience them over and over and bring up those great memories and feelings.  They become an integral part of the fabric our life.

This so resonates for me with what I call my bathroom story.  I love traveling and save up my money for wonderful trips, sometimes seen as exotic and off the beaten path by others but to me is simply trying to see the world and all it’s natural beauty and diversity.

My husband and I have been taking  yearly big trips in the summer for the past 12 years or so.  Whenever I’d announce to my mother our trip plans it was always countered with, “why not spend all that money on a bathroom in your basement; you need one down there for when people sleep there.”  I would frustratingly but nicely (if there’s such a thing; I think it’s an oxymoron though) try to say how I understand that’s her priority but it’s not mine.   And her answer would be, “A bathroom you’ll have ‘forever’ and something to show for your money but a trip will come and go in a couple of weeks.”

Now I do get that perspective.  And I also subscribe to mine.

I sit in my den which is adorned wall-to-wall with blow-ups of our travels and I revel in all the memories of my trips.  I never tire of looking at these photos and re-experiencing aspects of these amazing vacations.  I feel the awesomeness of the Swiss Alps; the joy in being in Monet’s Japanese garden with all it’s vibrant greens and  frog-filled lily pond;  the breeze as I imagine opening our doors in our room to overlook a most gorgeous view in Santorini; that jeep ride coming upon two lions and two rhinoes squaring off to each other on our safari outing that cold early morning as we sat on hot water bottles to warm our bottoms;  the simultaneous terror and high of ziplining in Costa Rica;  my initial embarrassment  walking out of a bathroom in the Rome airport having changed into our clown garb for our exciting Patch Adams service trip to Sicily and being swarmed by kids chattering away in Italian and all we did was laugh.

This says it all.  This brings meaning.  This brings me joy.  This says to me I’m living and bringing into my life what’s important and pleasurable to me.  This is a big part of the rich tapesty of colors of my life.

I never did do a basement bathroom but I did redo my first floor bathroom, in purple.  Another joy in my life.  Yes, purple does bring me joy, as do colors in general.  So I can sit in my den surrounded by my gorgeous pictures which evoke priceless life-time memories and see into the deep purple of my bathroom and get pleasure from that too.  But one  or the other, I’ll take experience over thing anytime.

A broadway musical for my birthday won out last week over a piece of clothing or another ‘thing.’  The show uplifted me and I re-feel the high energy of the Jersey Boys music.

Your turn – what gives you longer-lasting pleasure and meaning – Experience or Thing; buying an experience or buying that new thing?   

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8 thoughts on “Buying Happiness With Experience or Things

  1. Tsahai Thompson-Santiago says:

    I love reading your articles! They bring great joy into my life and knowing how easy going both you and your husband are; is simply inspiring. We all walk various paths in life but intercept at the right place and the right time. I’m enormously grateful for our intercept here and now. I may have said that I’m too young before but now I have someone that I can model their(your) life and therefore growing up is looking oh so tasty, sensual and exhilating thanks to meeting you and your hubby. I love reading your articles please continue sharing your gift to this world <3

    1. Hi Tsahai,
      Wow, what words. Thank you so much for being so forthcoming. Yes, it is truly interesting how we’ve all met at the ‘right’ time, all out of our Tony Robbins experience. We’re all on a path of growth and improvement. That’s what makes life so interesting and exciting.
      I love your gratitude exercise you’re continuing to do, on facebook, which makes it all the more accountabe.
      Knowing my words are making a difference is certainly incentive to forge ahead. Thank you.

  2. Christy King says:

    Experiences definitely bring more happiness. It’s true that sometimes you have to buy something to participate in an experience (e.g. knitting needles and yarn to knit) but the happiness of the experience is so much fuller and longer lasting than just buying something to sit on your shelf.

    1. Hi Christy,
      Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts. Yes, you make an excellent point – sometimes you have to buy the materials to participate in the experience, and then the experience outlives the purchase and you develop a love for it or it becomes a hobby/passion. Oftentimes the experience, let’s say, of a day out in nature is free and is a win-win all around. And like you say, the experience is much fuller than a ‘thing’ whose interest may wane with time only to become one more ‘thing’.
      Hope to ‘see’ you again soon. Enjoy!

  3. Beverly says:

    Experiences, every time!

    1. Hi Beverly,
      Thanks for responding. I wish more people felt like you; we’d have more internal riches and less external ‘show’.

  4. Sharon Harding says:

    Definitely experiences! For the last few years my partner and I have stopped buying each other Christmas gifts. Instead we use the money we would have spent to do something together. The first year we bought tickets to a live performance of the Christmas Carol. We stayed in a fabulous bed and breakfast and had dinner out before the show. It was a fantastic evening and I am so glad we had that experience. One day we hope to travel to Tuscany and spend a few weeks meandering along the coast.

    1. Hi Sharon,
      Yes, these wonderful experiences create lasting memories that we hold dear forever. They can never be taken away. I certainly hope you get to go to Tuscany soon and ‘meander’ along the coast. Don’t wait too long.

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