Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
Therapist . Speaker . Author
I will be away for the next 2 weeks; I will therefore not be writing new posts.
I want to put out a post-Thanksgiving “what am I thankful for” – I’m grateful for my growing readership, my growing subscribers and my growing connections in the blogging world. Thank you to all. I’m loving this blogging journey.
Tomorrow my husband and I are flying to Prague for a few days and then on to Israel to visit my daughter and family, specifically 5 adorable grandkids who I only get to see once or twice a year. I’m obviously excited about all this, but at the same time my heart is heavy with loss over the sudden “amputation” of a close and very special friendship. (One commenter used this term in her comment to the blog posting and it sounded so perfect for the situation.) Just about every nite after saying good-nite to my grandkiddies, my friend and I would sit out on her porch and talk for hours, giggling, confiding, munching and relaxing together in the beauty of Jerusalem. We’d make time to go to a favorite fish restaurant and eat the best St. Peter’s fish. We’d take a day and travel either south to the Dead Sea or north to the Sea of Galilee. Even within an only 7 – 10 day visit, there would always be time built in for us.
And so I go with a bittersweet taste in my mouth, and soul. That needs to be O.K. for now. I allow myself to feel the hurt. I am sure when I eat my St. Peter’s fish my eyes will sting with tears. And that will be O.K. I will walk through her neighborhood (near to where we stay) and long to knock on her door to say, “let’s talk or yell it out.” But I won’t; I will feel sad and a bit angry and continue saying to myself, “this is just so bizarre.”
I will go and do, and feel even and especially what is beyond comprehension. For this is life; we must feel it to live it well. These things we don’t understand and can’t control – eventually they get absorbed into the mysteries of life. And we go on and try to exert positive influence where we can to regain our equilibrium of goodness once again.
Having said that, here is one of my favorite uplifting stories about making a difference. Apologies if you’ve read this one too many times already.
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Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.” “But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said- “It made a difference for that one.” (Loren Eiseley) Thanks for reading. I’ll be back Dec. 11th when I’ll be posting my December interview, a little late. Stay tuned, it’s a very interesting one. |
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liked your story -have a safe and lovely trip
Hi Alicia,
Nice to ‘see’ you again here.
Glad you liked the starfish story. Thanks for the good travel wishes.
Best to you.
Harriet, my friend. Enjoy your well deserved holiday and thank you for leaving your special thanks and wonderful starfish story of hope for us all to ponder and remember you while you are away.
Be good to yourself and let go of what you can no longer hold on to. Life let’s somethings gets away but that makes way for greater things to come. That St Peter’s fish will taste just as good in the presence of new beginnings.
Enjoy…
Hi Jimmy,
Love and appreciate your wonderful words. Yes, that St. Peter’s fish tasted delicious in a restaurant overlooking a gorgeous sunset along the Mediterranean Sea. I had a great time and felt great joy on my trip, along with sadness for the loss of a quality friendship that continues to mystify me.
Have a great time!
Is it your picture in the beginning of the post?
Hi Vika,
Welcome to my blog. Thanks for your good wishes. And yes, I took the picture at the beginning of this post from the airplane window during a summer trip.
Hope to ‘see’ you again soon.
I have not read The Starfish poem before – I really enjoyed it.
I hope your trip was a healing journey is some respect… that some of the sadness lessened and you experienced moments of beauty and peace.
Hi Tara,
Thank you for your kind words. My trip was wonderful and I did have many moments of beauty and joy. It’s not to the exclusion of the sadness of my ‘lost’ friend but it’s along with it; I was able to feel the happiness of being in beautiful Jerusalem with my grandkiddies and some other good friends.
Walking into a breathtaking sunset along the Mediterranean Sea does wonders for the soul.
I’m glad you liked the Starfish poem. It’s high on my favorite list.